i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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