Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
