you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
