Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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