yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
