I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
