I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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