Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
