I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
