i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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