love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
