I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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