she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
