we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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