Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
