I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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