i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Randomize
