can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
