Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
