U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
