Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
