holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
