Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize