Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
