Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
