my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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