its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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