Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize