I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
do herpes really smell.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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