Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
