R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
