so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
