You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
