dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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