thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
