i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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