I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
