And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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