Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
