Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

spencer pratt says his family invinted chess

(1-210): View more from Texas

that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.

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(434): View more from Virginia

the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.

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(512): View more from Texas

apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy

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(909): View more from California

Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.

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(360): View more from Washington

I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.

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