You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize