it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
