i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
