I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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