if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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