It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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