Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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