You just made me feel so damn special
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize