office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
