Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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