Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
