And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
