is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
