just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
