i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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