I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's rum buckets o'clock
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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