Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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