Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
