It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
