omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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