How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
