i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
