Porn is love you can see.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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