I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize