I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
someone owes me an orgasm
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize