I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize